| some shit I never finished (oh well) |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|07:32 am] |
My mom says patience is born when your child is born. I disagree.
I don't like kids. This is interesting because my family drowns in children. I have three sibling ranging from seven to seventeen, I have a nieve under one year old and My own Son Matthew. I love them and dig their company regardless of what day I'm having. I actually like these folks. I love them because they are family but I genuinly LIKE them. They are all in some way my kids.
Other peoples kids, on the other hand, I dislike. If someone walks into the office with a toddler or young'en ... I don't fuss. I don't want to carry any babies, I don't do the high pitch cutesie "let's entertain the little one" voice and engage in conversation. On the other hand, if a charming little kid walks in and I'm amused, I'll get down to their level and enjoy their kiddy-ness. But for the most part, I'm not much for other people's kids ...
My son is on a different level. I still don't have any patience for babies. It wasn't born in me when Matt was born ... My theory on this isn't that patience is born when your child is born you simply learn to control yourself more. I still want to lay him on the floor, give him the finger, tell him to go fuck himself and walk away ... Instead I control that impulse, give him a hug for doing exactly what he's supposed to do ... Drive me crazy. His job is to cry when he's hungry, needs to be changed, want to be hugged, etc. My job is to tend to his every need, regardless of how tired or frustrated or scared I may be, it's part of being a parent I suppose.
--- MOVING ON ---
Linda says having a baby changes the dynamics of a relationship. Unfortunately, her relationship with her boyfriend shortly after her daughter was born. Her boyfriend just wasn't aware of the role of a parent or the amount of dedication involved with having a baby and Lyn finally called it quits.
"having a baby changes the dynamics of a relationship"
I know why things failed for Linda were, in part, related to her daughter and a great deal with her mans inability to commit to his relationship.
Then I Stop and think, that was just one case, there are so many factors in play as to when that change takes place and why, most inportantly in whom.
Although my patience for my child has increased, my tolerance for others has greatly declined, especially if it concerns me. It's difficult to be the supportive, soft, understanding person I used to be before Matt. The dynamics of my relationship HAS changed ... here. I am ground zero of those changes!
I'm not a hollow rock. I have a core of stone with a gentle exterior. I have to be. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO LOSE! I've never had it easy therefore why should I make it easier, while making it harder for myself, for anyone else, especially if they know better.
--- MOVING ON ---
here's another pair of dreams to add to the awefulness of what's going on lately.
1-I had a dream I was holding Matt in one arm and my Crock Pot in the other. I took a step and the porcelin bowl of the crock pot started to fall out. To keep it from breaking I let matt go and saved my crock pot, letting my son hit the ground. Made me feel very strange.
2-Another dream I had was there was an earthquake |
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| I'm a terribly parent |
[Dec. 8th, 2009|04:09 pm] |
... Matt is almost 2 months old and I realized that I have made zero attempts to the introduce my son to the music that holds the world together ... here's a small list, in no particular order:
metallica
korn
godsmack
the temptations
the beejees
kc and the sunshine gang
suicidal tendencies
snoop dog
Aerosmith
the beastie boys
CHEVELLE
the rat pack
pink floyd
system of a Down
tool
vanilla ice
mc hammer
WAX TAYLOR
... just to name a few~
So with that in mind ... is it too early to blast a playlist with at least 1 song from each of these artist for Matt! I'm sure he's used to the volume ... i only blasted this music at top volume while I was pregnant. Eh ... he'll either like it or go deaf ... poor little sucker ... I'd hate to be my mom |
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| fucked up dreams and fucked up mondays!!! |
[Dec. 8th, 2009|08:18 am] |
what a shitty monday ...
On top of getting fucked up news from Luis ... I couldn't sleep. It was one of those bad news that instantly hits the diarrhea button and you have the shits on a shitty day. Pity me!
Tried to sleep and when I did, I had fucked up nightmares.
1- I had a dream that I was being rapped, in my house, with matt playing in the other room so I couldn't scream as to not scare him. While I was being rapped, the rapist was stabbing me deep into my ribs with a fork from my kitchen. So I layed there, being rapped and stabbed and unable to scream for help, with my son in the other room! Great!
2-I dreamt I was lost in a hospital. I kept running scared because there were zombies after me. Then I saw a familiar face ... Russell ... I ran after him into a room, grabbed his arm, he was surprised to see me, I whispered to him and told him I had something very important to tell him, AND THEN I KISSED HIM! ... He looked at me and knew what it was and said ok, "don't go far ... I'll me right here!" but I couldn't help it, mosters were after me! So I ran, into a dark truck loading dock and I was grabbed by a zombie so I hit it ... found a hammer and beat it's face in, then the lights flickered and I realized it was Russ ... he was dead ... and there was no one to help me!
3-I dreamt I was drowning in my pool, and Matt had a childs fishing rod and was sitting at the edge of the pool trying to fish me out but he couldn't hook me. He started to cry ... and leaned in, fell in and started to drown with me ... I had to watch my son drown with me because he was trying to help! ------------THIS ONE SUCKED! |
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| Thanks giving dinner ... and then some |
[Nov. 29th, 2009|04:41 am] |
Thanks giving dinner was spent at Irene's (my mother in law) house this year. I've concluded that Luis and I need to get a bigger table for our place. I'd be nice to host dinner at our place but we doubt it'd comfortable for Luis' 3 member family and my 8+ member family to sit at our 4 seater table. I'll work on it for next year.
Also, I think it'd be nice to have laura join us for a change. I don't think Laura has participated in our thanks giving dinner for at least the last 3 or 4 years ... I could be wrong, but it sure feels like it.
--- MOVING ON ---
it's about 4:40am, Luis and I are still awake. boooo! |
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| Happy turkey day |
[Nov. 26th, 2009|10:42 am] |
... I hate that I'm not thankful for a full night of sleep on Thanksgiving day. (Thanks, Matt)
One of these days I'm going to lose it, I'm going to pick him up, leave him in the balcony and place a puppy bowl with the name matt on it on the floor next to him. Fend for yourself, sucka!
Now, because this is wishful thinking, it's hilarious! If I were to actually see this or hear that this actually happened, I'd cry!
.... I have to go shopping! a new outfit for Matt and some misc food items! Great ... only imagine the lines I'm about to deal with! Pity me! |
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| things don't change ... language changes |
[Nov. 26th, 2009|02:52 am] |
When we're interested in some boys/man ... we have always asked the same question ... from the time we began our gender networking ... Grade school to present date
1- what grade is he in?
2- how old is he?
3- what does he drive?
4- where does he work?
5- how much money does he make?
... the question is the same just with different words! ... lol! I'm on number 4. My next husband will most likely throw me into the 5 area.
thought it was amusing! |
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| Everything Matt |
[Nov. 26th, 2009|12:08 am] |
Well, i give up. There's simply no fighting it ... for the next few months or so, most of my posts are going to be loaded with Matt. Can't help it. It's a mom thing, I guess.
Here we go:
- He looks nothing like me. As a matter of fact, had I not seen him squeeze out of my vagina, i would conclude that he sprung from Luis via mitosis and I had no involvement. He is a spit mirror image of Luis ... it's disgusting how much he looks like him. Oh well, I guess I'm keeping the "cute one" title in the family.
- I love my son, I swear I do, but on occasion, usually at about 3 or 4 in the morning, while he's yelling his ass off for a variety of reasons (hungry, needs to be changed, he's cold, wants to be cuddled, etc.) I seriously consider laying him down, giving him the double finger and telling him to go fuck himself. Fortunately, he is my son, and I do love him a great deal so instead, I take a deep breath and look forward to scheming my vengence for when he gets older.
- There isn't much that babies do. For the most part, the majority of the day is filled with sleeping, crying, eating, shitting and making misc noises ... as he gets older, the amounts of these same activities increase. Sleeping extends longer, crying gets louder, eating increases, shits get bigger and noises get ... well, noisier. Matt is one month old now. He makes this noise where he's not crying, he's just making sounds that makes you think he's going to start crying but he never does. Sooner or later the noise is bound get loud and annoying, on one of these days the noise did turn into crying and nothing I'd do would make him stop. I fed him, changed him, carried and paced him back and forth ... and nothing. I laid him on my bed, watching him cry ... I scratched my head, fully annoyed, at my wits end and just when I was about to lose it and start crying out of frustration ... I leaned forward, cupped his face in my hands and licked his cheek from chin to eye lid. Now if there was every any doubt that this was my child, this would be the only proof needed. The little son of a karla actually stopped crying and stared at me perfectly calm and quiet. Now only a kid of mine could possibly be amused at that. I love him
more to come ... i'm tired! |
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| I've had an epiphany |
[Nov. 21st, 2009|04:01 am] |
... I've always written ... ALWAYS.
I have notes and shorts stories, letters never given to anyone, stuff written on napkins of ideas I have on the stop ... stuff dating back to when I was about 12 or 13 yrs old. I swear, I keep some, I throw some away, other stuff, I keep, go back to it a couple of yrs later and decide to throw it away only to have Luis pull it out of the trash and set is aside so it's not lost. (which I still have to thank him for doing, but I haven't because I don't know what I'll answer when he asks why I threw it away in the first place)
I've also dreamt. I dream awake and asleep. While I'm working, watching TV, having a moment alone and sometimes while I should be listening to the person who is talking to me. (it happens often)
Always been that way ... I've written some of my best shit, stories, ideas, rants, posts(!) out of a couple of my dreams. One of my favorite reasons for weekends was because I didn't have to wake up early and cut off a dream before I could finish it. I love dreaming ... it's one of my muses. You could say, I'm my own muse ... or at least, my subconscious is.
Funny enough I realized something today. The whole time I was pregnant ... I didn't really dream. On occasion i would have the couple of bits and pieces of some random images but nothing I would call a dream.
In all honesty, I feel that I didn't dream at all. It's as if I've gone to la-la land all my life, la-la land disappeared for eight months (matt was born early) and now it's back again, in full swing. Much more than before. I don't even need to have my full nights of sleep anymore ... I'll dream during my baby naps, since I only really sleep about 4 hours at a time, when I ever do get a chance to sleep.
Coincidentally, during this dreaming vacation my pregnancy sent me on, I've also had very little to say. Most of what I wrote during my pregnancy was actual life shit ... how I felt, what I was thinking, what I expected, love this love that ... shit of that sort. Nothing of the creative variety. I couldn't really think of anything to write about, a creative blockage. But since his birth, my mind has been spinning with ideas and stories and characters to fit into scenarios ... full of it.
And here, in this whole creative on-switch, off-switch, back on-switch lies my epiphany. I love writing. I love the grammatically correct/incorrect, fact/fiction, humorous, serious, ranting, etc ... shit I share and shit I keep locked up in a safe place, for myself to read only, ... everything I write ... and how much what I dream is connected to what I write, creative or otherwise. I've also come learned how much I missed it while it was not there. How much a part of my very person this little thing is and how much it made me a different person while it was away. How much that little thing is a great big thing to me. And how everything is connected ... and how much time is being wasted being pregnant (not in a procreative sense).
There is something I'm supposed to be doing that I am not. But everything I've done 'til now was the only way to figure it out. So as I sit on my dreadfully awful brown couch, with my baby sleeping on my chest, covered with a blue and brown polka dot blanket, laptop on my lap ... as I type, I'm trying to figure out what that something is and how to do it. Somehow, I feel my dreaming and writing and Luis and Matt are all connected to it ...
I suppose this doesn't make sense, but then, an true epiphany isn't really supposed to make sense to anyone other than the person having it. Well, I've come this far ... let's see how much further this takes me |
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| Pictures of my pooklet! |
[Nov. 18th, 2009|08:21 am] |
ok ... I haven't posted pictures in some time so here goes.
This is my baby, Matthew. He is now 3 weeks old!
This is Matt just a few hours old!
... more to come, I promise! |
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| Q/A ... I'm bored and can't go to bed yet ... |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|03:35 am] |
Last person you showered naked with?
My baby, when I was pregnant!
Your best friend has sex with your ex, what happens?
I'd find out that both of them are gay ... and it'd be awkward!
Your ex wants you back, but you are in a relationship, what do you do?
"FUCK NO" or "No Thanks" ... most likely, "FUCK NO" ... Luis rules!
What happened last time you got drunk?
It's been almost a year ... but most likely got laid!
Last person you kissed, good kisser?
Luis ... and GOD YES!
Do you bite your toe nails?
No, gross! ... but I have been tempted a few times
If someone said to you "nice ass" you say?
Liar! ... it's fat!
Where was your last hickey?
... not a big fan of them but on occasion they do appear and as long as they are not on my neck, they're a little arousing!
You want kids?
I have one! It's awesome!
Your friend kisses the boy you like, what do you do?
Beat the bitch down! ... anyone kisses my man is asking to be introduced to my fist! ... and If Luis kisses back, He's getting it worse!!!
Last thing you said out loud?
what? ... why do you think that? ... ha ha ... he is retarded
Last time you laughed your head off?
just a second ago ...
What do you want right this second?
For Matt to wake up so I can feed him and then knock out!
How are you sitting?
On my shaggy carpet with my lap top on my lap ...
When you scribble on paper, what do you scribble?
yes. Squares and circles
Where is your family?
Matt by my feet, Luis on the couch enjoying a mojito!
Anyone pissing you off?
not really! it's been a good day
Can I have your number?
sure ... ask for it and I'll think about it
Your mood?
pretty mellow
Do certain alcohols make you have different emotions and what?
Nope. At some point they all make me feel pretty drunk!
If you could change one thing this year about your life would you?
not a fucken thing ... it's been perfect
Would you be surprised if your most recent ex called you tonight?
fuck yeah!!! ... but it's a blessing it's not going to happen
Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
Luis ... about ten minutes ago
Did you sleep alone last night?
nope ... never do!
Do you like when people play with your hair?
Fuck no ... hands off or get bitch slapped!
Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
nope ... Matt won't let me
Would you rather dye your hair or go tanning?
neither ... I like the all natural ...
Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/ girlfriend drinks?
nope ... just so long as I don't have to babysit him, even tho i rarely do. Plus, he's an easier lay when he's buzzed!
Do you find piercings attractive?
yup ... Tattoos are even hotter
Who was the last person you talked to in person?
Luis ... trying to ignore him tho
What were you doing last night at midnight?
Feeding the bundle of evil
Waiting for something?
sleep
Last December, what was your love life like?
same as now ... pretty chill!
Was yesterday terrible?
nope ...
Would you ever eat a bug for 1,000 dollars?
yup ... 1k is a lot of money ... a bug will only bug for a sec
Did you reject or accept your last friend request?
don't remember
Have you kissed someone in '09 that meant something to you?
yup ... at least once a day
First and middle name please?
karla veronica
Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
yes ... tattoos ... done with piercings
Who is your last received call from?
Luis
Do you think the last person you kissed cares about you?
i know he does
How many cigarettes have you smoked today?
none
Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong?
nope ... because I'm never wrong ...
Have you ever kissed underneath the stars?
every girl has
Do you like potato chips?
yes
What color is your ipod or mp3 player?
white with a silver cover
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Laura ... but then if I laugh too hard, she makes me pee
What's the best part about school?
you never stop learning!
Do you give out second chances way to easily?
nope ... those days are over ... don't ask for them either ... shit's more interesting this way
Ever stayed up all night on the phone?
heck no. I don't even like to answer my phone
How do you feel about smoking?
depends on what?!
Is there anyone you couldnt live without?
My pookie and the pooklet
Tell us about when you were at your worst... Was it bad?
... it was terrible! ... it was great ... oh well, it's over ... fun to think about it now! |
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| Great News! |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|09:54 am] |
Announcement!!!!
ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!
Matthew Alexander P. was born Wednesday, October 28, 2009. (a whole 4 weeks early)
17 inches ... 5.5lbs
he was a small sucker but healthy as heck! He just couldn't wait any longer, I'm guessing.
I'm a mom and I'm super happy. He's absolutely beautiful. Well, realistically, he may not be but I have mommy goggles and all I see is absolute beauty when I see him. Except when he wakes up at the ass crack of dawn ... THEN he is the evil crying banjee from hell! But I still love him.
We're happy. More to come in a tad. I've been super busy and too tired to post about the whole experience but I will, I promise. |
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| BIRTH DAY APPROACHES ... |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|06:43 pm] |
I know this because there's weird stuff going on with my body! ... I'll spare the gross descriptions but believe me, it's desgusting.
Aside from not being able to lift myself off of the couch, the minor occasional contractions are a clear indication that this little sucker is coming soon!
The other day Luis and I stayed up til about 3am ... waiting to see if my contractions got stronger and more frequent ... it dawn on me, while he laid in bed staring at me with the most loving concerned face that WE, TWO, are being reborn with this whole experience. We've done so much at our age and experienced enough to call our lives truly satisfying ... but we've never done this. We've never experienced THIS and we are like children ... waiting to experience what we've been told would happen. Everything, from the moment I go into labor on, will be a whole new experience and have new purpose! Like a child taking it's first steps ...
... we venture with tumbling first steps, forward into parenthood. And what a great person to share the experience with. We're equally naive, curious and definitely capable of doing this ... But we do have that sense of innocence about the whole thing. The only experience that I have over him is that I've held several newborns before, cared for them and know their frailty. Luis, on the other hand, Matt will be the very first absolute newborn he'll hold, seconds from birth ... and nothing will ever compare to that moment.
We'll need to learn how to cary, care and nurture our little guy, TOGETHER! We'll be equals in our learning of how to raise our son.
"OUR SON" ... holy shit. I just can't get used to it! I hear Laura call Jessica "her daughter" over and over and over again and I find it absolutely beautiful. I understand why she does it. I never really understood why people used the term rather than calling their children by their names, especially when speaking to folks who knows them, but I understand now.
Something changes in you ... (me ... us) ... although we've known he's a boy and we sweetly call him the pooklet or the "carita de sapito", or By his name: Matthew/Mateo ... their is something that chokes me up and makes my heart pound when I call him "MY SON" ... Audibly declaring him MINE. ASSOCIATED WITH ME. CONNECTED TO ME. BEING PART OF, CREATED BY ME THEREFORE BEING SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO ((( ME ))) ...
He'll forever be introduced, PROUDLY, to everyone as, "Matthew Alexander, my(our) son" ... The absolute best that Luis and I have to offer the world, concentrated and refined into this flawless little person. None of our sins nor imperfections ... only the best we have to give, and we gave it to him to make his own and us proud!
I'm in love. I really am. I've always admitted that I fall in love everyday ... I find something new with someone or something to fall in love with everyday and it keeps me going. But I've never been in love like this! People can read this and imagine what's it's like but unless you've been here ... you'll never know it. The closest someone can get to this type of love is 'having an idea' of what it's like.
I love Luis. I remember the day I realized I was madly in love with him. I know what he said that opened my eyes about how I really felt. I know how terrible it was realizing it and how grateful i felt knowing that I could be selfish with it! I remember the day I first made love to him and the first time I told him I was madly in love with him. I still feel it, a much more subtle form of it every day ... but every so often, he'll say or do something that pulls me away from the present and right back to THAT day, I'll look at him, zone out the rest of the world and it's worries and feel AGAIN how madly in love I still am, and infinitely grateful that it's him and no one else.
I'm not who I was, because of him. "I don't know what Karla you were for everyone else but I only know ONE karla and I love you, good and bad", he once said to me. This is after having seen what a true fucked up mess I was. Nothing hidden, no fibs, no masks to make myself seem something better than I was ... just the true raw me. And the stupid dumb ass still insisted on staying. And believe me, I TRIED TO GET RID OF HIM!!! He didn't budge! I'm sure I still do shit that makes him wonder why the fuck he sticks around but the silly shit insists on sticking around ... and I love him for it! I love him ... I take a lot of shit for him and from him. I've had to reinvent who I am as Luis' karla and you know what?! ... I've never been happier. I go home, fold his fucken clothes super adorable, stop watching my shows so he can watch his soccer(plus I like it too), let him warm up his fucken frozen feet against by legs when he goes to bed ... and much more ... all because I'm fucken disgusting in love with that Loser! He does the same for me ...
I mention all this because there is no other man ... NO OTHER MAN ... that I would ever do this for. I don't know of any man that would take and accept the screwed up shit that I am and still love me the way he loves me! Every other man is secondary to him ... if that. I go out of my way to be the ideal partner for him because he really does the same for me. Every job, every friend, every thing is secondary when it comes to my best friend, my partner, My pookie! ... That's how madly I love him ... and yet, being so commited and enveloped by this relationship ... I've never been in love with any man, including Luis, the way I love my son!
I would travel to the ends of the earth on hands and knees for Luis ... but I would do it many times over back and forth for my son if I had to!
I've been a very selfish woman all my life. Lived only for myself, then I found a man that I could live with and for so I became super selfish with him. That's the type of person I am. I can't help it! And now I have yet another man I want to live with and for.
I feel so blessed to have Luis to share my selfish ass with and have him be giving enough to give me another little man to love as much as I love him and be selfish with! I tell you, that is the only other way I'll ever love another man as I love Luis ... if he gives him to me! I can't imagine who I'd be without them both! ... I hardly even remember who I used to be! |
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| kicked in the ribs |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|09:44 am] |
... yup, Every time my baby kicks me in the ribs, he propels himself into my vag. It's a strange sensation. He moves so much now a days that it'll temporarity stop me from what I'm doing. But it's still really cute!
And then theres the strange occurances where I have to do research first thing in the morning to find out all the why's and what that was?!
Last night and this morning, for example. Last night, I went to the bathroom and had spotting. Naturally, I became concerned since I've never had a baby and everything is a first. Got online, did a little research and discovered that it's pretty normal. Since my Pooklet is rearranging himself in preparation for birth, he may be stretching and moving around the inner linning of all my inner stuff causing small bleeding ... nothing to worry about. riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
aaaaaaaaaaaah, busy ... more to come |
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| A FUCKEN QUICK UPDATE BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY TO POST WHAT I REALLY WANT |
[Oct. 14th, 2009|06:32 pm] |
1- I finished my first real project on my sewing machine. AND IT CAME OUT GREAT!!! Luis and I are working on our 2nd project. a sexy women poly/cotton shirt front w/print v-neck and lace back ... should look super sexy!
Luis was totally impressed w/my first finished project. it's a demin skirt with a sick holloween patch on the side.
With these 2 projects, Luis and I are, once again, on track to building up our clothing line. We'd stopped because I got all Pregnant psycho but now that shit is calm (sort of) we're back to planning and designing again! We'll see what we can get together and put them up online so we can start up again.
As far as graphics ... I already have an artist on board. Inny! simple designs at first, nothing to complicated, which most likely will drown out the potentials. Working in the industry that I do, I've come to realize, and noticed, that the most common mistakes are the over complicating of what's marketable.
There's a reason why our biggest clients keep coming back. the trick is "simplicity is the best product" ... if aimed in the wrong direction, your company will last as long that particular fad does.
Stay tunned for pictures and more info on out designs! woot woot!
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My boy is now 8 months cooked. My little matthew is 30 days or so away ... holy shit ... i want him out now ... I want to kick him for a change!
Oh yeah, get this ... I got a massive scare yesterday! Yesterday was the first sign of rain here in LA. I didn't know this until I stepped foot outside and that foot didn't stay planted on the floor too long.
I started walking down the steps to get the car and the the steps were wet and i slipped. DOWN ABOUT 4 OR 5 STEPS! 8 MONTHS PREGNANT!
I tried to reach for the railing with both hands but couldn't, rather, I ended up twisting my whole body to the right and landed on my right side, BABY BELLY INCLUDED! all the way down to ground level! It hurt so badly, and scared the shit out of my because I hit my belly all the way down so I started crying, grabbed my purse from the ground, walked back up the stairs, inside my building, ran thru the hallway to my apartment, threw my purse on the couch, ran to the bedroom where Luis was still asleep, and with tears in my eyes, holding the heck out of my belly I crawled back in to bed ... trying ever so desperately to communicate to Luis that I had fallen ...
L: OH MY GOD, WHAT'S WRONG?
K: I fell, Luis, I fell down the stairs ... i think I hurt my baby.
L: KARLA, ARE YOU OK? IS THE BABY OK? ... ARE YOU OK?
K: I don't know ... I fell, baby. I'm so stupid ... I'm so sorry.
At that point I couldn't stop crying and I couldn't feel my baby move, which he does a lot now a days! ... I laid in bed, my skirt wet from the fall outside, Luis trying to get me to calm down, holding my belly ... waiting, not breathing, crying, waiting to feel my baby move to show me he was ok! But he dind't.
Luis jumped out of bed, called his mother for advise because I couldn't think straight, I was of no help to help him help me, all I wanted was to feel my baby move and show me he was still ok inside me.
After a couple of minutes, I felt a soft little kick towards the right side of my rib cage, assurance he was still there, ok, and well enough to kick. I finally came back to reality, took a deep breath and cried a little harder. It was such a relief. It scared me so badly ... the possibility of not feeling anything ... I've never been so scared in my 28 years of life... EVER!
By the time I collected myself, Luis was putting my shoes on and made me out of bed to call my doctor to tell him we were on our way for a check up because of what had happened. We drove as slow as heck ... I calmed down in the car, really collected my thoughts and focused on what my check list of first aid.
-was I bleeding?
-is he still moving?
-do I have contractions caused by the fall?
-why does my belly feel so soft?
-fuck work!
My doctor checked me out, checked my baby's heart beat (still strong), still moving ok. No signs of contractions at all, no bleeding ... as for the soft belly, My baby just got scared and balled up deep inside me to the other end of my belly but he was ok. After an hour or so he was back in his relatively usual spot. His little head is over by my left pelvic area and his legs by the right side of my ribs! ... not his usual spot but if he feels safe there, he can stay there as long as he needs ... I can handle a couple of kicks to the lungs ... I'm a tough one just like my little Matt!
Scared the buh-jesus out of me tho. And poor luis. In the end, my doctor recommended that I stay home for the day and return today for an ultra sound.
spend the entire day calling work to check in on production, finishing my project and stuffing my face!
--- MOVING ON ---
today's ultra sound. I got face pictures of my little man!
Lo and behold, folks, I told you ... he's a fucken fatty! He's got the worlds biggest cheeks and biggest forhead you can imagine! ... I'm willing to bet that he's going to look just like his daddy ... which is a great thing because I happen to think Luis is the most beautiful male creature ever born ... until my baby is born, then he'll have to share the spot light!
yup. big cheeks, big forehead and a head full of hair! ... I'm going to be living with a pair of chipmunks looking boys with speech impediments! ... yay me! |
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| SMART ASS LINE OF THE WEEK GOES TO ... |
[Oct. 8th, 2009|03:15 pm] |
Helen!
SCENARIO:
TC: (phone conversation) hey, (client), you forgot to cut all your product so we can print the design on them
CLIENT: no we didn't
TC: yes you did. i'm looking at a giant pile of shirts ... UNCUT
CLIENT: oh, well, how much would you charge me to cut them for us?
TC: let me ask ...
(goes over to Nathan)
TC: how much would we charge to cut these for them
N: I don't know, we don't normally do stuff like that
K: (FROM A MY OFFICE, WHICH I HAPPEN TO BE EAVES DROPPING ON THEM) I wouldn't do that because if we cut them wrong, they'll be damaged and we'll have to pay for the whole thing to be replaced.
N: true. Ask helen how much she would charge to do that.
TC: ok
(goes to Helen)
TC: Hey helen, how much would you charge to cut these unfinished shirts for our client?
H: what do they need?
TC: to cut the seam out so we can print, how much would you charge to do this?
H: oh, I don't know ... I don't know what to charge for stupid!
HAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ...
-----------
oh man ... this is the funniest in the world! Helen is just not the type of person to say anything like that, for the most part, she's a perfect respectable lady! So ... she gets the "SMART ASS LINE OF THE WEEK" credit!
Good for you, Helen. |
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| The changing weather |
[Oct. 6th, 2009|10:56 am] |
You know the heatwave is totally over and fall/winter is on its way when ...
1-you no longer need the air conditioner
2-your sweatshirts need to be dusted and placed in a more accesible place in your closet
3-your boyfriend hugs you much more at night because he's cold
4-the skin on the inside of your nose goes raw from the wet snot
5-one person in your household gets sick, which means you soon will too
6-you go to sleep with 2 socks on and wake up with one
7-there is a wonderful smell of leafy trees and fireplaces in the air
8-turning off the water in the shower means being cold as heck when you step out
9-summer attire goes on sale
10-families start planning for thanksgiving and christmas dinner
11-slut outfits are a little less slutty
12-doing your hair is pointless
13-chapstick stocks go up
there's tons more but I just got really busy at work and I can't waste any time ... I have a docs appointment tomorrow morning @ 8.30am so I need to have as much as I can finished today! gha :( |
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| ROACH COACH FIGHTS, PAYROLL AND CLOWNS |
[Oct. 1st, 2009|09:54 am] |
Here we go. Let me take you on a Flanny(the company I work for) daily adventure ... this was yesterday.
As most companies do, we have the usual roach coach that comes around at about 10am every morning. This magnificent vehicle full of trans fatty wonder is driven Deedee, a slightly ghetto big breasted beaner lady whom always seems to be receiving booty calls while on the job. I've worked here for just over 4 years and I've made friends with her, she's cool, ghetto indeed tho.
Well, recently, especially since I became pregnant, I've been trying to avoid eating from the trans fat factory and opted for healthy local joints or simply bring my own lunch. Until this week, when a very sweet short timid white lady names Jamie started coming around selling fresh salads and sanwiches. Everyone here went nuts ... we can eat healthier and not go far at all.
Jamie asked me if it was ok to come by at about 10:30, after the roach coach lady leaves. Well, yesterday, Deedee drove up late ... Just as Jamie is pulling her stand out for us to buy our salads. Deedee parks right behind her, storms out of her truck, walks right up to Jamie's face and says, "I don't sell at your spots, you shouldn't sell at mine" and walks away.
By the time I come out poor Jamie looks super uncomfortable and says to me, "she doesn't want me to come here"
K: really?! how do you know? did she say something?
J: *whispers* yes
K: NO way, what did she say?
J: not to sell at her spots
K: No way, *lol* ... well, if she says anything else just let me know and I'll tell her you're here at my request. I'm sick the greasy food anyway.
J: I'll just make sure to come by after she leaves.
K: ok
I walk back into the office, salad in hand, excited over the lunch lady wars and remember ... "WE JUST INSTALLED A VIDEO SURVAILLANCE SYSTEM" ... I want to see the action in instant replay! I run to Nathan's office, make him stop what he's doing, rewind that camera's footage and watch a very confrontational Deedee approach Jamie!
Now, I know I embelish a lot of my stories sometimes, what can I say, I'm a person full of imagination and want to make my stories as exciting as possible sometimes ... not this time. The proof was in the footage! It was ACTUAL BATTLE OF THE LUNCH LADIES!!!
I LOVE MY JOB
----- MOVING ON -----
I was at work til 9pm working on payroll! 9-fucken-pm! ... Eh ... staying late last night to finish payroll offers me some perks ... like fucking around on lj for 2 hours, reading my buddies entries and playing a game of solitaire. MWAAAAHAAAHAAA
--- MOVING ON ---
One should never be discouraged by their financial situation. In the end, a solution is always a couple of coffees, a salvi breakfast, and a little bit of reseach away. The only real down side is some serious sacrifices must be made to achieve financial freedom. Some key points:
-own your portion of the responsibility
-make a plan and stick to it
-budget budget budget
-STAY MOTIVTED!
enough said
--- MOVING ON ---
JOKE OF THE DAY: If you spin an asian man in circles, can he become disoriented?
Courtesy of TC
and my favorite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j62olAmWY9Q |
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| INSIDE OUT AND BACKWARDS ... |
[Sep. 29th, 2009|11:16 am] |
If you're wondering what ... it's my underwear!
I just went to the bathroom and realized, not only am I wearing my Undies inside out, but they're backwards too! GHA ... I JUST CAN'T GET A BREAK!
I did laundry last night, folded all my knick-knacks, and put them away, thinking that this morning I'd know where exactly what I wanted to wear would be and 'lo an behold, I but a usual Karla!
One might ask, "well, wouldn't you feel that your undies are backwards, at least?" ... Well, yes, except i'm wearing very stretchy full hug bootie shorts since they are the only style I can wear while pregnant without having them roll down.
So I go the bathroom, do the usual, lock the door, use a toilet seat cover, lower my pants, drop my undies and sit to do my business. Then, sitting there, I realize I can see the size label of my panties (which I'll keep to myself since it's increased dramatically since I got knocked up) ... not only on the front side, but the out side too!
*sigh*
I get up early in the morning and I'm still groggy when I'm getting out of the shower and getting dressed, plus it doesn't help that I have a gigantic belly blocking my view of what I'm doing from the waist down. At this point, I've been up for over 5 hours ... I'm just going to leave them as is ... eh, I'm the only who's noticed anyway ... big deal! |
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| IT'S CONTAGIOUS |
[Sep. 28th, 2009|10:39 am] |
... And it kinda sucks!
I've noticed that lately all my posts are pregnancy related. Sorry, for any out there that are readers ... I apologize in advance. All my sex, story, rants, and mindless entries will just be on hold until I can squeeze this little bundle of evil out of me. Blasted!
Here's the latest ... I can't get comfortable. Especially when it comes to sleeping! UGH! I can't find a comfortable spot, I wake ever hour or so to shift or go the bathroom, or he wiggles around and it wakes me up! IT HAS TO STOP! ... ugh!
It get's worse, I think it might be contagious! You know the term "sympathy pains", well, people, please pity Luis! The poor zap. I can't sleep and consiquently, neither can he. I don't know if it's my constant moving or my achy groaning, or if it's actually symtoms he's acquired from me. He looks so tired sometimes, I just want to huge him but he's in such a terribly mood I'm forced to leave him alone!
Oh here the cherry on top ... our fucken air conditioner has gone down. He's a fucken eskimo and needs it effen cold to sleep. Talk about a double-wammy. The world is out to get us, I swear!
More to come! Maybe ... I'm fucken busy and I still need to find myself a new assitant! ugh |
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